“Yes, there is death in this business of whaling—a speechlessly quick chaotic bundling of a man into Eternity. But what then? Methinks we have hugely mistaken this matter of Life and Death. Methinks that what they call my shadow here on earth is my true substance. Methinks that in looking at things spiritual, we are too much like oysters observing the sun through the water, and thinking that thick water the thinnest of air.

Methinks my body is but the lees of my better being. In fact take my body who will, take it I say, it is not me. And therefore three cheers for Nantucket; and come a stove boat and a stove body when they will, for stave my soul, Jove himself cannot.”

I have seen the Whale once more, this time after reading Moby Dick from Herman Melville, i am not going to review this book, it’s been reviewed enough. That essay he keeps reading, from his daughter, saying that Ahab will only be happy after he kills the Whale, if you read it, you know what happened, with his reckless pursuit and such… This is the kind of thing a book should do to us, triggering things in our heads.

That movie is tragic, deals with loss and TCAP (something i deal with). Charlie used food to cope with his pain and frustration. It’s such a misterious place, the land of fears. Although, at this point, I feel I am at peace with my White Whale. Everytime I tried harpooning her i was hurting no one but myself, like Charlie was doing. I just want her to keep diving in the deep, i know that sometimes i will see her tail in the distance and that’s fine, that’s our relationship, our commitment.