My new Mate, the Topiramate

It takes a long time to accept you are week at some point of your life. Not weak in a way that’s obvious to others. It’s slower than that. You wake up tired. You can’t focus. You feel anxious, without a clear reason. You tell yourself it’s just a phase. That if you sleep better, eat right, exercise more, it’ll go away. You don’t want to need anything else. So you keep going. You show up. You function. And because nothing’s completely fallen apart, you convince yourself you’re fine. But eventually something breaks. Maybe it’s a panic attack. Maybe it’s the moment you can’t stop binge eating in a grocery store parking lot. Or maybe it’s just the quiet, steady awareness that you’ve been struggling far longer than you want to admit. That’s when you stop pretending. That’s when you realize you can’t fix this alone. It doesn’t feel strong. It feels like failure. But it isn’t. It’s the first real step toward getting better. You make the call. You take the pill. You start talking. Slowly, you feel something shift. Not a cure. Not perfection. Just a little bit of air in a space that’s been closed off for too long. And from there, things begin to change.